can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
