Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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