kristin has been a bad kristin
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
