i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
