Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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