i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
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I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
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I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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