I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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