im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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