while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
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I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
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The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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