your thong is hanging out like whoa
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
