And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
