I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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