O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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