What a fucking waste of an outfit
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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