it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
