That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
