All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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