He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
