have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
