shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Let's get the cat blown out
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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