Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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