So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
