Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
