Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
