just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Please don't give away my fajitas
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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