i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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