He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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