you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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