Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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