I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Two words: blizzard sex
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
