You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
