aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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