the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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