I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
