Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize