the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
