please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
did i just pee glitter
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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