He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Randomize
