That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
