he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
