we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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