thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
