where am i from again
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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