its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize