Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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