you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
