She's JV to your varsity
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's shark week go big or go home
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
