Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
