Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
accomplished twins. life is a go
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
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