I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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