just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
