Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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