After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
