drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
