Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize