Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
