the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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