HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
