Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
and you fell through a lawn chair
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
