how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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